Kabuki Lear

[icelightning]

Yes, there is an explanation for that. Went to four one-act plays, three written by my old High School's drama teacher and one written by the Valedictorian.

"Invisible Man" by the drama teacher was an awesome play. About a mute homeless guy sitting on a bench in a subway station. Yeah, sounds like some sort of artistic thing, but it's extremely good. Love the way how they keep track of the props. Also won best in local and regional film festivals, and the lead won best actor at both even though he doesn't say a word.

"A Slice of Sanity" was awesome. Written by the Valedictorian. The play is so him, too. A poor stressed-out man is subjected to the secretary and a crowd of insane patients while waiting for his shrink. The twist on the end is hilarious. And then the next stress patient comes in....

"Lady Killer" was the first play, but I only now remembered the name. Awesome play about a serial murderer, two accidental murderers, and a psychic. Yes, it's as insane as it sounds. The best part is... ALL the roles are split between two people. And yes... both actors have to play roles of the opposite gender. One guy actor, one girl actor. It's awesome.
Best quote of the play:
Psychic: "I know that your heart secretly lusts over Dick Cheney!"
Old Woman: *Thoroughly shocked and amazed!* "How did you...? Why, I've... I've never told anyone that!"
Psychic: "I don't blame you."

"Competition Piece" was the last play and was written after the drama teacher had gotten pissed off about how the judging goes at competitions. Three high schools compete to win the locals. The entire thing is a wonderful parody. The three teams choose the play, audition, practice, and then preform the plays in silent fast-foward. >.> Because each are supposed to be "thirty minutes long", so they fast forward for the convenience of the audience.

One does a play about a dance and the steamy kiss afterwards ("Kiss Me, My Lips are on Fire").

Another does the tragic tale of "Betty" the girlfriend of the lead football player who dumps her after she gets pregnant with his baby and she becomes homeless, turning to drugs in order to snuff her woes, gives birth to her baby in a trash can only to have the authorities take him away, throws herself in front of a bus in suicidal anguish, has her former fellow students point at her dead body as her boyfriend places flowers on her body, and then her spirit comes back to give everyone a lecture about the woes of today's teenagers! This is the play that made the fast-foward neccessary. The entire team are goths except for the lead, which is a ditzy moron and the cheerleader who chose the bloody piece.

... The best, of course, is KABUKI LEAR. Yes, King Lear in the classic Japanese drama style. The Drama teacher even made the "kids" learn Japanese, much to their chargrin. Why did I like this piece the best? Probably the way the bodies quickly pile up on stage in the fast-forward part. Like how one sister mixes a poison in a test tube to give to the other sister who hugged her lover. The dumbass sister drunk it, dies, and then the other sister is holding her gut laughing only to be finger-wagged berated by her lover. In horrible anguish at her lover's disapproval, she stabs herself in the heart with the TEST TUBE. It's awesome how they managed to cram so much angst into like a summary fast-forward period of three or four minutes. "Wait a minute, you're going to hand out the parts based on how good we were at being BUTTERFLIES AND TREES?" Insane hippies drama teacher directed that one. <3 For those interested, here was basically what happened in silent mode: http://www.shakespeare-online.com/plots/learps.html AWESOME. <3 Cordy was killed off stage.

Afterwards, the judges debate over donuts, and one goes on about how the best part about the competitions is always the food. Won't say who won. <3 AWESOMENESS.

AND NO, I WILL NOT DO AN LJ-CUT. THESE PLAYS WERE TOO COOL TO BE SUBJECTED TO SUCH TORMENT AND HORROR. Yes, they're all original, so that's why you've never seen any of them. They're relatively new. Congrats to Bri (my brother) and the rest of the cast!

Edit from March 12th, 2006: Okay, so I did eventually LJ-cut it. Heh.