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A finished work.
Jul. 4th, 2007 10:49 amA RETROSPECTIVE LOOK AT THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
By Thomas A. Thompson
At approximately 7:31 AM EST on Wednesday, June 13th, 2007, the last Starbucks ran out of its expensive, over-caffeinated drinks. A grossly negligent shipping error caused massed confusion a few days prior, ending with all of Starbucks' supplies being dumped in the Atlantic. Within a half hour, people began to succumb. At approximately 8:05 AM EST, the first zombie emerged from her car.
After being shotgunned down by a passing officer, an autopsy on the former Margaret Brown, 33, revealed that she had been dead for years, and the only thing that had kept her body still moving had been the two Grande Mocha Lattes she ordered every morning. A crisis was looming, as more and more formerly caffeinated bodies fell victim to a Zombie state, roaming around and attacking anyone with any sort of beverage in their hands. Because of the early morning hours, most people only had their drinks in hand and had barely drank from them, so many victims were eaten futilely, as the zombies were not returned to their former life-like states.
( Read more... )
We will continue to report on this story as it develops. The aftermath of the Zombie Apocalypse shall be felt far and wide, both in the United States and beyond, for many, many years to come.
By Thomas A. Thompson
At approximately 7:31 AM EST on Wednesday, June 13th, 2007, the last Starbucks ran out of its expensive, over-caffeinated drinks. A grossly negligent shipping error caused massed confusion a few days prior, ending with all of Starbucks' supplies being dumped in the Atlantic. Within a half hour, people began to succumb. At approximately 8:05 AM EST, the first zombie emerged from her car.
After being shotgunned down by a passing officer, an autopsy on the former Margaret Brown, 33, revealed that she had been dead for years, and the only thing that had kept her body still moving had been the two Grande Mocha Lattes she ordered every morning. A crisis was looming, as more and more formerly caffeinated bodies fell victim to a Zombie state, roaming around and attacking anyone with any sort of beverage in their hands. Because of the early morning hours, most people only had their drinks in hand and had barely drank from them, so many victims were eaten futilely, as the zombies were not returned to their former life-like states.
( Read more... )
We will continue to report on this story as it develops. The aftermath of the Zombie Apocalypse shall be felt far and wide, both in the United States and beyond, for many, many years to come.
